Gov. Andy Beshear signed a proclamation in the Capitol Rotunda making October 2024 Domestic Violence Awareness Month in Kentucky. (Kentucky Lantern photo by Sarah Ladd)
“Nobody else would put up with you.”
“You know exactly how to make me act this way.”
“You don’t want to see what happens if you leave me.”
Unfortunately, many people will recognize these words from personal experience. They may have heard them from a partner in years past or just this morning. A single angry or hurtful comment does not necessarily mean someone is experiencing intimate partner violence. But when statements like these are routinely used to intimidate, isolate, demean, or control a partner, that is abuse.
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and ZeroV wants survivors of intimate partner violence across Kentucky to know that we see you, we hear you, and we are here for you.
Abusive people want to make you feel small and powerless. They minimize your experiences to undermine your sense of reality. They manipulate and coerce you into doing what they want. And they isolate you from friends, family, and other support systems that could remind you that you are loved and worthy of safety and respect.
Intimate partner violence takes many forms and can be difficult to recognize. It can include physical abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, weaponization of social stigma, threats to harm children or pets, stalking and intimidation, sexual and reproductive coercion, and sabotage of career and education.
People outside of a relationship may dismiss individual incidents as an argument or a relationship problem because they don’t see everything that happens. But when you call a ZeroV domestic violence program, the advocate on the other end of the line will understand what you’re going through, listen without judgment, and support you in choosing the path to safety that works best for you.
In just the first half of 2026, advocates at ZeroV member programs across the state answered their crisis lines nearly 10,000 times. Many advocates are survivors themselves, giving them a deeply personal understanding of the complexities survivors face. Navigating a path to safety while experiencing abuse is no easy task. When survivors are ready, our advocates are here to walk alongside them.
However, advocates can’t meet the need on their own. In the same six months that we answered nearly 10,000 crisis calls, we were unable to meet 719 requests for shelter. We also know that not everyone experiencing domestic violence feels safe enough to reach out, meaning the need is likely much greater than what we can track.
This month, we’re calling on all Kentuckians to join advocates in taking action to support survivors. The first step is researching what intimate partner violence can look like, understanding the nuances that make it difficult to flee, and unlearning the social norms that make this widespread problem so difficult to root out. This Domestic Violence 101 webinar from the National Resource Center on Domestic Violence provides a comprehensive overview. If you prefer to learn by reading, you can start with ZeroV’s website.
The next step is practicing supportive skills. If you’re concerned someone may be experiencing abuse, the best thing you can do is check in with them. You can say something like, “I’ve noticed you seem different lately, and I’m worried about you. How are you doing?” If they decline to share, that’s okay. The act of extending care and compassion lets them know you’re there if they need you. That in itself can be lifesaving.
If they do share that they are being abused, the actions you can take to support them are like what you might do for a friend having a hard time. You can invite them out for coffee, giving them a chance to talk outside their partner’s earshot. You can offer to be a reassuring presence when they take a step toward safety, such as calling a crisis line or filing a protective order. You can store some of their belongings if they need to move out but cannot immediately find new living arrangements.
Whatever you do, be sure to ask the survivor about it first. Your role isn’t to tell survivors what to do but to help them navigate their options. You can learn more about supporting survivors from the National Domestic Violence Hotline. And if you’re wondering whether you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, ZeroV advocates are just a phone call away to talk it through.
We all have the power to support survivors and end domestic violence. No matter what a partner might say, our actions can help overcome messages of abuse by affirming that survivors are worthy of safety and respect. This month, join ZeroV in showing survivors that their community is here to walk alongside them.
Courtesy of Kentucky Lantern
